ALIEN ESCAPES SAGINAW TOWNSHIPS’S AREA 51 "It's a coverup!" said reporter May Dupbull, as she stood outside the fence of the ultra secretive Township Area 51. "They've captured an alien while he was loitering outside the Dow Event Centers annual Sci-Fi convention. Those aliens really love sci-fi." Easily spottable in his space-man uniform, this alien, from the planet Nojobbo was wounded and captured by Officer Harold Trigger, of the Township police. "He claims he was waiting for his mom, but I think that's what these aliens refer to as 'the mothership'. He put up quite a struggle too, apparently wetting yourself and crying is a powerful tool of alien self defense and mind control. My cousin Irma once kissed an alien because of this technique." Local newspapers, in cahoots with city officials are trying to cover this story up, fearing that his escape may cause a panic. So they are secretly plastering his mugshot all over town. If you see this alien please contact your city official and alert them, before he wets himself again!