NEANDERTHAL MAN FOUND IN SAGINAW? “The rumors are true!” claims Seymour Thansthere, local professor of archeology. “A short time ago we discovered a perfectly preserved Neanderthal Man under the 675 and Davenport Exit. We estimate him to be 56,382,721 years old, give or take a few weeks if you want to scientific about it.” Being skeptics, Saginaw Conspiracy sent an Omer Tech scientist to investigate. It turns out that this Neanderthal is still under the overpass, with a sign that says “Will wurk for phood”. “This only proves that Neanderthals couldn’t spell,” Seymour countered. “He is an exceptional example, for he hasn’t bathed in a month, and did a rather poor job cleaning our windshield, case closed!” “What about Intelligent Design?” we asked. “Intelligence has nothing to do with this, we’re scientists!” Seymour balked.