LOCAL WOMAN DATES ALIEN!
Irma Cloofnagel, a Saginaw resident for over 20 years, has a made a horrible discovery…she’s dating an alien! Saginaw Conspiracy sat down with Irma for an exclusive interview.
“I should’ve known he was an alien”, she remarked.
“He’s got hands like an octopus!”
“We met at the McDonald’s outside the Dow Convention Center, after a sci-fi convention. He was wearing his space uniform at the time…I should have became more suspicious. Our eyes met as we bumped into each other on our way to the counter to order another Shamrock shake. Of course, because of his wandering eye I thought he was looking at the menu.”
Being quite the skeptics, we at Saginaw Conspiracy tried to reach this alien boyfriend. We sent a camera crew to his parent’s house, (a 30-year old living at his parents? A dead giveaway of alien behavior), but apparently he was in the basement contacting his home planet, Nojobbo. Alas, we never got to talk to him, but the woman claiming to be his mother was very nice. Space peanut butter cookies are delicious!