MAN SELLS FUR AT PETA CONVENTION!
Chaos erupted this week at the Saginaw Chapter of PETA meeting at the Horizons Center when a local man wandered in with a sheep carcass.
“It was awful”, declared Mrs. Pennyworth Snobbins. “It was very obvious to me that this man was a looney and even worse…of a lower income bracket!”
After setting fire to some important PETA paperwork, the man, identifying himself only as GORT, proceeded to cook the animal.
After hearing rants, “Sheep are people” and “Fish have feelings”, all GORT stated was, “You kill it, I grill it,” and "5 bucks for the fur!"
However, everything calmed down when the coordinator was called in and realized that she booked a “hunting and cooking” convention across the hall and on the same day. “It’s all my fault,” confessed the coordinator as she finished off another plate of roast sheep.
The PETA people reluctantly agreed to return to their meeting after GORT threatened to beat the tar out of them. Once he left the PETA meeting, it convened by going outside for a tree hugging contest.
“The trees are so happy they’re weeping,” Mrs. Snobbins joyfully declared.
After the Hunting and Cooking convention was over, they were banned from returning to the Horizons Conference Center for using the trees outside to curb their hunting dogs.